If Plato hated Lawyers’ stinking guts, then so do I! Part 2

The defense lawyer followed up with, “Do you believe there are limits to science?” Mostly everyone shook their heads in agreement or replied with a small yes.  A small woman, identifying herself as a chemist looked unsure.  She did not believe that there were limits to science, but then the lawyer began his followup questions.  He was able to steer her, after some confusion, into agreeing with him that science is fallible.  I mean that almost goes without saying, right!

Apparently this game of question-mongering was intended as much to influence the rest of the jury pool as it was to disqualify certain jurors.   He continued on.

“Does an objection by the defense predispose you to think that we are hiding something?“  Everyone answered “no”, and I smirked inside, “Of course not!“

After these generalities, the lawyers went on to query specific jurors about their backgrounds and jobs.

I am a student at UCSD.

Blah, blah, blah.  What is your major?

I am a classics and philosophy major.

Who is your favorite philosopher?

Plato?

Blah, blah, blah. Why?

He achieved a level of literary grandeur and philosophical insight that moderns have not been able to duplicate.

Wasn’t Plato highly critical of the Sophists?

Yes.*

Let me explain to the members of the Jury who the Sophists were.  Blah blah blah.

Cross-questioning by the prosecution.

Mr.  Philagon, you won’t hold it against the prosecution or defense that we argue on behalf of our respective sides, will you?

No, in fact, I think the Sophists are unfairly maligned.  Recent scholarship has raised the objection in defense of the Sophists that we have very little primary material from the Sophists themselves.**

Ten minutes later.
The prosecution excuses Mr. Philagon from the jury.

*Let the record show that a lawyer himself initiated the parallels between ancient sophists and modern lawyers, not I.

**Perhaps a little too desperate here to show that I want to be included on the jury.

Textbook Underworld and the stalking girl

I saved some 30 dollars by buying my Chem book from a girl who was standing in the bookstore for 40 minutes attempting to sell her book to bystanders.  For some reason she decided not to bring the book with her, but left it in her car in the parking lot.  As we walked to go look at the book she must have said, “It is just a little further this way” with a motion of her hand at least 4 times.  I felt like I was going to look at contraband weapons or a bearded woman, but then decided she was nervous for her blatant entrepreneurialism.

So we get there I look at the book and deem it is sufficient.  We are standing in a dimly lit parking structure’s basement.  Also I refuse to take off my sunglasses. I count out the twenties to reach 100, then reach for my pocket for two loose 5’s, then grab another 20.  ”There’s 130.”  Her eyes had followed the waves of the bills the entire time, like two beetles crawling side by side on a single path.  ”130″ she says.

Business is done, I feel clever and she feels like she had a poker windfall.

Haiku:

Textbook Underworld,
Shrewd girl, highlighting too much,
You wrote in the book!

University faculty moving towards the middle, away from radical 60’s

In a survey of academics across the nation, a majority of university professors are now over 50 years old.  With looming retirement, many of these professors, who started in academia as children of the 1960’s, are consistently seeing new hires 20-30 years younger than them.  The new professors are self professedly more moderate.

Among professors:

“Self-described liberals are most common within the ranks of those professors aged 50-64, who were teenagers or young adults in the 1960s,” ….. making up just under 50 percent. At the same time, the youngest group, ages 26 to 35, contains the highest percentage of moderates, some 60 percent, and the lowest percentage of liberals, just under a third.

story

Discovered: The most practical job for a philosophy major

While reading Truehoop, a blog on ESPN.com about the NBA, I came across a post getting a professional gambler’s take on the NBA referee scandal.  In case you don’t follow sports, an NBA referee was indicted last summer in connection with betting on games, some of which he presided over.  Anyway, Mr. Haralabos Voulgaris (ironically appropriate last name) makes a living exclusively from betting on NBA games.  According to the interview he watches thousands of hours of tape, analyzing matchups for his statistical models.  Whence did he get these analytical skills which he has turned into crass and lucrative wagering?  He was a philosophy major.

I was in the process of getting a degree in Philosophy at the University of Manitoba and I began to wonder what I was going to do with myself, the prospect of continuing my education and going on to grad school wasn’t too exciting.

So he did the next logical thing- he bet on professional athletes who jump around and throw a piece of inflated animal hide into a metal loop suspended ten feet above the ground.  

I think the NBA has gone through a successful slogan transitionary period.  Once it was, “The NBA…….its faaaaaantastic.”  Now its, “Where amazing happens.”  But I think we have uncovered the next wave, “The NBA……more exciting than a philosophy degree.”

 

full interview

Like an arising monster

…with teeth made of candy corn, plunging your metabolism into energetic spasms

…with baggy eyes of deep blue, like scantron ink

…with the roar of an incessant alarm clock ring

Finals are here again, and I finish on Friday with Latin. Let me insert here how much I hate golf- not only is the U.S. Open taking place nearby UCSD, but the golf-letes are congesting traffic and stealing our native parking spaces. And wasting gas using golf carts, when they need the exercise. And wasting water on the plush greens, while SoCal is undergoing a water drought.